Sunday 12 July 2015

Women and Women

This was my life in college...... becoming a woman ,getting to know women and being friends with them. While trying to move onto how the human mind works i am really tempted to write about my days in college. I have written about rebellion.Well we had that.Sometimes, in our country just being a woman is rebellion enough. You aren't different, you are just you but a pair of eyes seem to follow you everywhere. Sometimes the pair of eyes develop a mouth. The mouth inches closer and you are no longer what you were building yourself into- no longer the intellectual or the professional.You run for cover from the prying eyes and the slimy mouths pouting deranged lines.

So , my most vivid memory of college is the bus ride from Delhi's Jantar Mantar to Greater Kailash , thrashing at the pair of gulping eyes. Yes beating the thronging crowd to docility as a brave young woman. We took oaths to stop going to marriages where gifts had been taken, dowry was exchanged. I remember reading a lot of Beauvoire  and we encouraged each other to look for jobs. Never shall we accept subjugation. Which actually meant, for us, that we would give up our daddy's cars to travel in the husband's. I was determined that this should never happen.

Spreading our wings, preparing for flight with our mothers' trying to clip those wings every single day. Who can imagine the pain of being cut down as soon as you have tried to spread your young magnificent wings ? I think imagination would fail here. Most of my male friends did not understand it at all.Except one, the one i married. In fact most of us did get married after college.So what did we do to the spirit of rebellion? We channeled it back to the family, of course. We are all virago wives, mothers and daughters. Did we contribute to the workforce? Yes, we did. Most of us just about managed the work life balance but some of us did it like a dream.

We did satisfy family. However, have we satisfied ourselves? In college we studied our courses, took interest in hobbies and were groomed to be the backbone of family. Welcome to the modern Indian woman. The system beat her by pretending that she is being taught rebellion. Actually we were being trained to conform, without us suspecting it. Cognition has nothing to do with gender. But bias will always pussyfoot around the growing woman , making her conform even when she does not suspect.

The film Mona Lisa smile is so true. Unfortunately, we never met a teacher like Julia Roberts.The lady teachers were chosen with care , they had to come from a certain background , they  had to conform. Weird, but the curriculum was always one of their weapons. So we never had an art appreciation or even an art history course.As a school Principal i miss this. The efficacy of art education is so evident to everyone now.But do we have such  exposure? We dont because the slimy mouth does not approve. Schools and colleges can have short  Life Skills courses so that aesthetics is a reality for everyone.

Will this tackle the crime rate? will it create more jobs? I can see the mouth working furiously. Frankly, let all this be rhetorical. Let's just sincerely offer youth Education in it's full sense , as promised.

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